Tag Archives: this is why i’m single

{cycle love} holiday cycling;

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oh gosh. can’t believe i forgot to clarify this in my other cycling post.

thiiiiiiiiis is what i meant by “winter cycling”. easy mix-up. so sorry. easy to do, ya know? can you tell millie and i are very excited for this winter cycling season?

disgruntled face optional, but very recommended.

november favorites;

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walking down harvard st. with a bottle of sriracha sauce. typical.

the smiling poop emoji (who am i kidding, really? year-round favorite).

rediscovering how much “benny and the jets” has an effect on my internship productivity.

10:30 pm bed times. three blankets. a new space heater. i’m going by the name “mildred” now, just an fyi.

burt’s bees chapstick in ruby grapefruit. bought only because it reminded me of the homeland.

speaking of the homeland, daydreaming about swimming in my community pool.  as soon as i get off the plane. in mid-december. swampland, i salute you.

ordering home try-ons from warby parker. the most hipster ones. so ruben and i could try them on.

hosting a holiday party for this weekend. with a dress code (cheesy sweaters are openly verboten. fancy dress only). and this afroman christmas cd bumpin’ in the background. naturally.

that all of my conversations with my mom lately have been about the ranking of black bean burgers in orlando (toojay’s wins always) and which restaurants we are planning to pillage of their foodstuffs once i make landfall.

the tikka masala burrito at boloco. i’ve been getting hot and steamy with one of those guys on a weekly basis. so good. currently in need of godparents for my food-baby. whoops.

that the super soft-spoken guy in my creative writing class started off his critique of my piece with “so, you used the word ‘turd’ a lot.”

how proud i felt making the soft-spoken guy say “turd” out loud. and then he asked “so, what’s the origin of this ‘turd’?”

recipes for pumpkin chocolate chip bread that yield two loaves. not one, two. two, as in the quantity that is completely necessary and recommended.

cutting the aforementioned pumpkin bread into one big slice, instead of two smaller slices, because then it means i’ve only had one slice. mackenzie logic always wins.

 

 

{cycle love} winter cycling;

one of the questions i get asked the most is, “you bike everywhere? even in the winter? isn’t that, like, cold?” the next question i am asked in terms of frequency is, “why are you carrying around a bike helmet?” (i was once asked this questions four times in the matter of two hours on campus at emerson. emerson kids, context clues! come on! get with it! don’t make me roll my eyes at you! )

in some ways, people will put me up on this pedestal because i bike year-round in massachusetts. they think i’m somehow stronger than them, or faster,  or more able to dodge oncoming traffic. and i can tell you plainly and bluntly, i’m not. my bike was $100. i wear tights essentially every day that i bike (i’ve probably worn pants a record two times this season). my bike bell was free. i don’t use clip-in shoes on a thousand dollar racing bike. and biking in the city really isn’t that hard or scary as long as you find a route that makes you happy, has a bike lane, and you don’t run red lights that often (i’ll admit that i do, but only when it’s downright stupid not to, like if i am biking up a hill.)

i get winded. i yell expletives. i hum the tune of “it’s not my fault (it’s my fault)” whenever a car honks at me unjustly. but i also meet lovely bikers. nice drivers that let me pass them. kind police officers that make sure i’m safe on the road. get greeted by the twinkling citgo sign as i stroll through kenmore. smell wood-burning fireplaces on commonwealth as i bike home after class. and have such a wonderful routine of riding through brookline doing errands. i spend the $80 i would have spent being scowled at on the T each month on things i actually enjoy. i don’t have to go to the gym. i’m outside virtually all of the time. i get sun. i get happy.

one way i know i’m not a hipster cyclist is that i genuinely wish other people biked or enjoyed biking year round as much as i do. and not just on a road bike. you can bike on a schwinn or a bianchi or a tricycle. on road or off road on nature trails (just not on sidewalks or else i will roll my eyes at you.) with pants or without pants (i’m a skirt-wearing bicyclist through and through.) a lot of people say the cycling season is over at the end of november (ahem, hubway being taken out at the end of this month. ahem.) and i think that’s a shame. who’s to say the cycling season has to end?

oh, what’s that? you want tips on how to bike in the winter? oh, wow. who could see that coming?

1. wear what you’d wear normally. really. just keep a sweater in your bag rather than on you while you ride. you will sweat. you will glisten. it will be worth it.

2. bike lights. don’t be silly. it’s illegal to bike in boston without lights, and when you’re not biking with them, you can take them off and have a strobe light dance party. not that i’ve done this or anything.

3. need some winter inspiration? dottie from let’s go ride a bike rides year-round in chicago because she and her BFF in nashville made a challenge to bike year-round. homegirl always looks classy, too. and simply bike is actually the best at motivating me to bike in the cold (bikes year-round, with a baby, while she was getting her ph.d.)

4. my eyes always tend to water up a bit more during the winter. easy solution? wear my damn glasses, that i always forget i have. sunglasses also work, too. and you’ll look presh. double win.

5. bike shorts are your friend. and you don’t need to get fancy, padded ones. i use leggings, hand-me-down bike shorts, and get cheap spandex ones from tj maxx. you’ll slowly but surely find that you wear them even when you aren’t biking. whatever. it’s a thing.

biking in the wintertime

6. my typical biking outfit? this jacket (marked down a crazy amount at marshall’s.) + stretchy pencil skirt (i have a bunch of $5 ones from h&m that complete me heart and soul) + knee socks or sweater tights + flats or boots + helmet + my trusty timbuk2 bag that i love so much. and the above polyvore is a typical formula for my outfits.

7. even if you don’t want to start biking until spring, bikes are sooooooo much cheaper in the winter. my first bike (bought in august, not the highest quality bike, bought with a broken brake) was stolen in november of last year. i knew if i waited until december i could get a really nice one for super cheap. bada-bing-bada-boom, i got my peugeot, millie (previous name= mordecai), for $50 cheaper than my crappier bike, in perfect, just-fixed condition.

 in closing, don’t think that because you don’t have to bike more than five minutes to a place that it’s not a worthwhile ride. it can be to the grocery store down the street with some cute panniers (i want these sooooo bad), or your bff’s house across the river, or to your foot doctor appointment. just bask in the glistening you’ll be doing under your sweater, get your hand signals on, and be glad you get to stare at changing leaves on trees and not grumpy businessmen on the T.

all of the thanks;

thanks to having enough time to read books for pleasure this semester….err, i don’t actually have the time to do it, but i stubbornly assume i do…and then don’t do required readings. so, um. whoops. but thanks.

thanks be to louis c.k., sangria, and fresh skeins of yarn. that is all i need.

thank you to eight minute “cleaning lady” version of  fleetwood mac’s “sara” (“i wanna be a star! i don’t wanna be a cleaning lady!”= my new mantra for post-grad life.)

thanks to the hello kitty house slippers that make me forget i have the worst circulation in all the land. #anemicgirlproblems.

thanks be to the lovely state of massachusetts. your weather confusion, subway performers, and creepy churches keep me smitten with you despite the snot-filled, 27 degree bike rides i endure each morning.

thanks to the bulldog upstairs that really isn’t supposed to be upstairs. even though my landlord doesn’t know about you, i’m glad i get to pet you illegally every other morning or so.

thanks to the right to vote. and the eight year-olds that tried to sell me quiche as i waited in line at the elementary down the street. classic brookline, massachusetts.

thank you insulting bowling alley personas, and salty tasty burger fries.

thanks to the tea selection at the tj maxx down the road (whatever, it’s so good!) and the odd stares i get from my friends when i tell them i have to “stop by tj maxx to get more tea.”

thanks to all of my coffee mugs for looking so damn cute in my  pantry alcove.

thanks for having a dreamy apartment with a freaking pantry alcove.

thanks for three weeks and a plane flight being the only barrier between loving on this nugget.

thanks to the dirty jokes my mother texts me each morning. you are the best way to wake up.

thanks to you, dear reader, for sticking around for my rambles. i adore each and everyone of you. really and truly.

ivy-covered life, a playlist;


{click above for playlist!}

boston and i have been super buddy-buddy lately. i ask her for a sunny day when i don’t have twelve hours of class and internship inside of classrooms full of recycled air. i ask her to give me just enough time to finish up the wonder spot by melissa bank & sula by toni morrison and (guys, my life was changed on the arm of my grandma chair). i ask her for lovely blog friends and old co-workers to  get wired puppy with.

she gives it to me. she tips her cap, says “sorry i was being so lame this time last year,” and gives it to me.

mornings have been punctuated by tea + absurd amounts of soy creamer, daydreaming about anne sexton papers, and coffee with my favorite professors talking about grad school prospects (swoon). afternoons are a hurried rush of microwaved peanut noodles and trying to snag bylines at my internship. nights of bananagrams and pumpkin candles and puzzle times and swing-dancing with strange guys in chairman mao costumes (seriously though). breakfast nooks + earl grey. bowling + tasty burger fries eaten on alleyway stoops. snow muddled with red leaves.

  in short, this is the ivy-covered life i’ve constructed. i dig it. it’s like a ridiculous caricature of an anthropologie catalogue, but i so dig it.

will crochet 4 food;

wanna help me eat this semester?

wanna have a ridiculously roasty-toasty scarf made by yours truly, with love (which is to say, made to the sounds of motown music, consuming at least eight cups of tea, and overhearing my roommate yell at people on xbox live)?

okay, i totally lied about that last one. most of these scarves were made while listening to nicki minaj and dolly parton. on loop. for hours. optional serenade of aforementioned roommate with remote control “microphone” recommended.

what i am getting at, is that baby girl is back in business with my scarf etsy!

i’m becoming the indie girl i always made fun of.  by this time next time i’ll have owls on my zooey-d dresses from modcloth. and drive a baby blue prius. and i’m already a vegetarian so i’m halfway there already. so it goes!

but if you care to take a gander…or really want to make sure i can support my anna’s tacqueria habit….


{click above to be magically transported to my etsy shop!}

the girl crush is back;

because of this video.

guys, i don’t think you understand how complete i feel right now. because of the existence of this video. it has everything i’ve ever asked the universe for:

more st.vincent in my life (girl crush is at an all-time high). david byrne from the talking heads (which is just perfect, because i’ve been listening to this classic for days.) freakin’ HORNS(!!!) goofy white people dancing. black and white music video. sweet harms (harmonies).

i am literally beside myself. i’ll brb. i have to go breathe heavily into a bag right now. i’ll be in a dark corner if you need me.

a literary halloweekend;

as is my usual fashion, this halloween was a nerdy one. i decided that the best use of my closet to make a “sexy emily dickinson” costume (isn’t it sad that it took me five minutes and my closet to make this costume? don’t answer that.) i pranced around a party with final harvest in tow and recited poems all night, making my best dead fish-eyed face, and made sure to punctuate all of my speech with dashes and a wild amount of exclamation points. i hope i made “e-dicks” (how i refer to good ol’ emily in my head) proud.

and then the next day i met lemony snicket (daniel handler). he yelled at small children, played an accordion, sat in an old woman’s lap, and flailed his arms around old south church at the bbf.

and then i died. and then he signed my copy of why we broke up with a simple “to mackenzie! yes! hello! how are you? me, too. daniel handler.” and then i was reborn again. and then i died again. it was that glorious.

and then i met junot diaz (!!!!!!) he was actually the sweetest man ever. and i am now crying over the fact that five minutes separated these two pictures of us, but his look remains the same. like zoolander, junot diaz has one look, and that is a super adorbz one.

now if you’ll excuse me, i have to get my “sexy virginia woolf” costume ready for next year.

werewolf bar mitzvahs, or “i can’t believe i get to write this stuff”;

so, as i have stated before, i’m kind of smitten with my internship. exhibit a: i got to write a blog post and compile a playlist  for halloween jams. i got to use bad puns. i got to use the rac remix of “werewolf bar mitzvah”. i talk about pelvic thrusting. this has been the rule of three.

like, guys, i didn’t even have to suggest this. i was told to. anyways, it’s been a good semester. anything that allows me to comment on missy elliot’s absence in the 2010s is enough to keep me content (but really, missy, come back to us).

if you’d like to read the article(and cringe at bad jokes), you can click here. and i’ve also compiled the list into a snazzy little spotify playlist for convenient ghoulish dance partying.

now if you’ll excuse me, i’ve got to see some boys become men, men become wolves, and women become she-wolves.

a recipe for a good fall;

four hours spent in three of the best seats at harvard stadium. or, the nerdiest seats in the whole dang stadium. you decide for yourself.

three hours on a rainy day in harvard square for all the honk fest festivities. activism and marching bands and my favorite marionette girl?! sign me up. also, one sleepy victim of some total #honkfeststruggs


one package of gnocchi. two pumpkin beers. two best lady friends. all of the girl talk and tales of awkward dates.

three parts adding to what i call the “fall porn of the internet” by taking picture of all the foliage. totally exploiting all of the leaves.

six hours spent hiking up mt. percival in new hampshire and pretending to be smeagol/gollum/ brian from hatchet. one realization that the hiking signs in the white mountain were most likely written by damian from “mean girls.” 

eight hours at the life is good festival. free foodstuffs and good vibes abound. sara bareilles being hilarious and then sad, which just meant my mom and i yelling “SAD SARA. DON’T BE SAD” at her whenever she played a sad song.

no regrets were to be had, besides not eating any more corn fritters and blueberry chile sauce.

one author event for michael chabon, where i tried to suppress my school-girl giggles as he signed my book and shook my hand.

ten minutes spent on my walk home from the bookstore, debating how long i could go without washing my right hand. and interpreting every single thing chab-chabs (my new pet-name for him) as an invitation to be his mistress. or something. i mean. whatever.

two days with a cookie pie, that’s all it took to eat this bad boy. by myself, naturally.

two very happy ladies and two very large veggie burgers from bartley’s. one very cranky stomach, due to the unhappy mixture of fried eggs, cole slaw, and hot sauce.

live and learn, but bartley’s does no wrong.

one  mom getting hit on my a strange italian dude named bruno at south station. extra points if he calls her the next day and sings to her in italian on voicemail.

the result? one very good fall. so far, pretty damn good.