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summer ta-da! list;

Posted on May 30, 2012 by Mackenzie









listen to cape cod kwassa kwassa while at cape cod.

take millie, the bike, down to the cape.

buzz my head. oh whoops. did that.

plan epic road trip.  (any good books i should download on my kindle for the trip? is it sad that this is my main concern?)**

concerts concerts concerts. regina spektor. the kooks. cake. two door cinema club. santigold. jukebox the ghost. laura marling.

take trapeze classes.

more swing and contra dancing.

rock climbing at m.i.t.

visit vermont= i’ve officially been to all of the northeastern states. and caused mayhem in all of them.
(that time i fell off crotched mountain in new hampshire. that time i bought chocolate wine at a quidditch retreat in maine. that time i pretended i dated someone who went to brown in rhode island. that time i forged an unlikely friendship with a boston squirrel.)

lavender lemonade + sangria drinking on the stoop. on the beach. on the curb. in a boat. in a house. in a tree. sam i am, i love sangria and lemonade. yeah.

decaffeinate myself (lolwhoops @ my iced turkish coffee + tweaking out hardcore at wired puppy).

pet all the bostonian puppies. all of them.  i think i’ve said “sorry to interrupt you, but i have to pet this dog really quick” to a friend at least 12 times. i even did that in the middle of a date. so, this is a very possible goal.

*ta-da! lists, like to-do lists but without all the dread! trademark mackenzie filson 2007-2012.

** also, if you’d like to do a guest post while i am in the midst of my travels down the east coast it would be much appreciated! email me at mackenzie{dot}filson{at}gmail{dot}com for info.

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twenty one’s to do list;

Posted on March 14, 2012 by Mackenzie


go to all of the states in the northeast (maine & vermont, i’m looking at you.)

apply to  grad schools (so far, the list is at twelve. have mercy.)

sip lavender lemonade in cape cod in the summertime.

bus trips to montreal.

brunch dates with ladyfriends.

get a cat and try not to suddenly have six cats (i know myself too well).

publish stories.

finish novel-baby #2.

get better at calling people back.

read favorite children’s books in german.

plan graduation trip (greece and germany are beckoning to me).

bake more often. pavlovas & baklava need to be in my belly now.

stand up for myself and ask for what i want.

ask boys out on a date. make eve ensler and gloria steinem proud.

sing in public.

do stand-up.

learn latin (don’t ask questions. is it sad that this was one of my childhood dreams?)

dancing. always. and forever. a dance festival in maine next month(!!!)

needless to say, homegirl is pumped.

 

…inspired by a post by my lovely-nearly-birthday-twin, emily.

also, have you entered my giveaway yet? no? you’re crazypants.

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#febphotoaday

Posted on March 1, 2012 by Mackenzie

for my #janphotoaday click here.



1. your view. 2. words. 3. hands. 4. strangers. and then picasa made me want to rage. so please excuse the deluge of photos.

5. 10 am. 6. dinner. 7. button. 8. sun.

9. front door. 10. self portrait. 11. makes you happy (jane and her scarf-finding skillz). 12. inside your closet.

13. blue. 14. heart 15. phone. 16. something new (petsi’s pies!)
                                        17. time. 18. drink. 19. something you hate to do. 20. handwriting.
                21. where you work. 22. a favorite photo of you. 23. shoes. 24. inside your bathroom closet.


25. green. 26. night (riesling at a french restaurant, camera broken!) 27. something you ate. 28. money. 29. something you’re listening to.

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{8 year old self project} michelle kwan dreams;

Posted on February 17, 2012 by Mackenzie

ever since i got my michelle kwan dragon necklace and wore it ’til it broke, circa 1999, i wanted to learn how to skate backwards and spin.

and last week i did!

just barely.

derpy hand motions, copyright mackenzie filson 2012.  haters gonna hate.

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{8 year old self project};

Posted on January 12, 2012 by Mackenzie

Pinned Image

it happens. we all do it. we get further and further away from our glue-eating selves.

the version of us who would stick up to their bullies if they ripped your penguin costume (true story. i hit the chump with my pencil, repeatedly). who dreamed of living in houses with trampoline floors. who thought mastering her barbie veterinarian computer game and watching “emergency vets” was equivalent to a college degree. who couldn’t be held back from jumping into puddles. skating down steep hills with almost definite skinned knees in sight. sending complicated, colorful to the point-of-inducing-seizures love notes with no shame lingering within the composition notebook pages.

and i’m glad i am 20.9 years old. i get to run around the city past my bedtime. sleep in a full sized bed with as many pillows as i want. blast my music. go to concerts by my self. know how to put on mascara correctly (at least, i think so?) boys no longer have cooties. coffee tastes good to me, instead of black sludge my dad would always put in his thermos before heading out for the day. i’ve thankfully grown out of my phase of putting ranch dressing on everything, but i still miss the vestiges of my 8 year old self. in a way, i feel like she was the most authentic me. in a way, i still feel like i have clutched little pieces of that little girl’s spunk in my hand, even at 20.9 years old. i mean, i still adamantly wear dresses over my pants. if that doesn’t show that i am still 8 years old, i don’t know what will.

thus, my eight year old self project. these will be little tasks i think the 8 year old girl that still lives in me would be proud of. i mean, what’s the point of the freedom of adulthood if i can’t live out the dreams of a wee little mackenzie?

that means taking those ballet classes. and going to a place that has trampoline floors (more places than you might expect!) go ice-skating all the time. send a love letter, or three. sing in public. and volunteering with an animal shelter, so my obsession to animal planet was not done in vain. go see chincoteague island and the cherry blossoms.

and i encourage you all to do the same. i think we owe it to the eight year old little girls we once were, don’t you? what did your eight year old self want to do more than anything?

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on twenty one, rory gilmore, and goals;

Posted on April 9, 2011 by Mackenzie

sanfran 093edit

i’d have to say that if i didn’t include "rory gilmore” on to my list of people who have inspired me i’d be a total liar. a liar with a side of liar sauce. i might even be bold enough to say that i’d even be drinking a liar milkshake alongside my liar sauce.

being that she was my only friend that i spoke to on a regular basis my senior year of high school, rory gilmore has taught me a lot about the art of goal-making.

wait, what?

don’t ask questions.

seeing that twenty is kind of a weird, in-limbo sort of age i felt compelled to make a list of goals i’d like to accomplish by the time i turn twenty one on march 7th, 2012 in order to spice up my borderline type-rory-gilmore-esque existence:

1. re-develop my sense of style. and stop succumbing to hipstery, despite it being oh so very much easier to do so.

2. save $1000. all by myself. then take a jog around my neighborhood and high five everyone i see (i’m one paycheck away from this goal! wee!)

3. take more dance classes.

4. host an entirely vegan dinner party. complete with classy outfits and bubbly drinks.

5.volunteer with either the girl scouts or at a local animal shelter.

6.figure out what my hair wants to do. actually use some sort of product/tools besides my pillow (true story. i only use the magic properties of my pillow while sleeping to style my hair.)

7. explore the south more. go to charleston/asheville/savannah and realize that my homeland is a lot more than cheerwine and muddin’.

8. go skinny dipping (!)

9. sing in public.

10. visit at least 5 more libraries on my list of “libraries to see before i keel over”.

11. get a better job. hopefully at a bookstore, a library, or a place that lets me call making cupcakes a job (!)

12. act in at least one musical and one play.

13. fill my year twenty journal.

14. attend a service at a mormon temple.

15. edit the novel i wrote when i was a first year in college. like, seriously. that thing needs to be edited.

16. take a trapeze class.

17. tutor myself in french.

18. fill a room with balloons from floor to ceiling.

19. let my hair grow out past my shoulders. (patience, mackenzie. patience!)

20. visit some blog friends.

21. be a better pen pal to my austrian, german, italian, and northern californian pen pals. (bad mackenzie.bad!)

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the prodigal daughter;

Posted on February 18, 2011 by Mackenzie

{i’m back! the prodigal daughter is back. and despite leaving my computer charger at my hostel, and blogging from my mom’s ghetto fab computer, i have quite the meaty post for you}

everytime i go on a trip i feel like i arrive at some sort of realization. in chicago, it was that i didn’t have to stay in a place because i felt i was obligated to. in boston, it was that cities can completely surprise you and beat out any of your expectations. and in new york, it was that i didnt like new york at all (i know, blasphemy). but in san fran, and a few days prior to my departure to san fran, it was that “holy crap, this is what my life can be like ALL THE TIME! IT’S HAPPENING. IT’S REALLY HAPPENING!” feeling. sort of like you are in the lizzie-mcguire-movie version of your life, and feeling like “hey now hey now, this is what dreams are made of” moment. and ethan craft totally thinks your hair and outfit and lipgloss/you is/are cute.

two days before i got to san francisco, i got to see this band and this band. me and my fellow dance-challenged white girl ladyfriends were dancing up a storm right in front as they were playing. and who would guess that our terrible dance moves would get us backstage and eventually we got invited to go to the  theme parks with the band? not me.

one day before san francisco, i got to see yann tiersen. no explanation needed.

and while i was in san francisco, you better believe i got myself into some silly situations:

 mauled with love by multiple bernese mountain dogs. talking to men wearing berets (whose houses were used in the movie “i married an axe murderer”?!). going to mass at grace cathedral. getting hit on in parks and making up fake boyfriends.  meeting so many fantastically crazy and like-minded folks in my hostel. and meeting awesome blog friends (!!!)

 visiting the ucberkeley campus and then that spiraling into swing dancing with ucberkeley students and then going to get curry with ucberkeley students and then going to a play with ucberkeley students and then wanting to just become a ucberkeley student.

finding new friends who are going to be moving to the same city you will be moving to (cryptic for now, as plans get finalized! ). and who will be going to the same school as you will be in the fall (once again, cryptic just for now! note: it is not ucberkeley.)

having a romantic valentine’s day spent on alcatraz, a dinner at cafe gratitude, then an impromptu city-wide pillow fight (yes, pillow fight).

you see, guys. this is why i love traveling by myself. you learn the power of yes and no. no, mr. frenchdude, i do not want to go alone to the golden gate bridge with you (ironic? yes. true story? yes.) why yes, i’d love to go get curry and see a play with you awesome swing-dancing ucberkeley kids. no, i don’t want to work at this theme park anymore. but yes, i’d love to go to your school. and yes, i’d love to say yes to life a bit more.

in short, i finally feel like my life is starting. like this is it, this is where i finally get to say i’m getting somewhere. slowly but surely i’m getting there. i might be the tortoise in the situation. but i’d rather be the tortoise than a specatator of the race.

then again, i still haven’t seen “gnomeo and juliet” (i’ve legitimately waited 1.5 years for this movie), so i think that’s a good jumping off point for this whole life-starting-back-up again thing.

{photos; 1. in front of golden gate bridge 2. beach overlooking alcatraz 3 man who wrote me a free poem at ferry building farmers market 4. steepest hill i climbed/died on 5. doe library @ ucberkeley 6. coffee art @ blue bottle coffee}

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the girl with two left feet and one big smile;

Posted on January 26, 2011 by Mackenzie

  

                                       -via

guys, i like to think i’m physically in shape. i don’t get winded going up stairs. i eat my oatmeal. take my vitamins. do my elliptical workouts whilst watching the discovery channel to stretch my brain and tone the thighs. and lift weights listening to katy perry to reverse that hour of discovery channel.

but an hour and a half of ballet?

holy crap. i almost collapsed in my snappy, little leotard.

and the fact that i misread “beginner/intermediate class” to mean beginner and not “this class will totally kick your @$$. bring tissues. and some pampers” didn’t help either.

but guys, i loved it. i loved every little minute of it. the realization that, holy crap i just did that exercise completely backwards. and oh man, why is this woman speaking to me in french? what is this gobbledigook she speaks of?  the nearly running into walls and the fellow dancers during exercises? i loved it, even if the teacher spent half the time telling me corrections. i just loved it.

my thighs didn’t, of course. but that’s okay. eight year old me is perfectly appeased right now.

who cares if i’m the girl in the ballet class with two left feet when i’ve got a huge smile across my face?

slowly but surely i’m working down my list of things my eight year old self wanted me to do: go to second city? check. two weeks until i can recreate scenes from “the princess diaries?” future check. and now ballet classes? check-ity check with a side of check.

marry one of the guys from n’sync? i don’t quite know about that one. but then again, who knows. i know i can’t hit on lance, but  jc chasez, if you’re reading this feel free to holla at a sister.

what did your eight year old self want to do? swim with dolphins? be a background dancer? eat a whole pizza by yourself in one sitting?!

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two thousand and ten;

Posted on December 29, 2010 by Mackenzie

In 2010, ladyfriend over here….

- withdrew from new college. a thing i had wanted to do 8 months earlier but didn’t have the “cajones” to do so. no regrets, best decision i’ve ever made. I’ve always been a very safe person. and some may regard it as ” a dumb, teenage decision”, but i only have 3 more months of being a teenager, so to them i say “WHAT IS THIS, HORSEVILLE?! I’M SURROUNDED BY NAY-SAYERS! NAY-SAYERS!”.

-went to chicago . (and dreamt that sufjan stevens fell in love with me. many times). oh, how two weeks in a city you’ve never been to before by yourself in can make you feel so lost and so found. i love you chicago. you made me feel like i am woman and the world can hear me roar. and all that cool feminism stuff. thank you for that.

- visited too many beautiful libraries to count. (harper library @ uchicago, widener @ harvard university, boston public library, new york public library, chicago public library. swoon!) so much beauty. so much nerdiness. i almost found myself tearing up when i was near very beautiful rotundas in various library reading rooms. yes, i am just that type of broad. the one who gets misty eyed under ornately painted rotundas. i really am such a catch.

- went to boston. oh, boston. who knew a frivolous paycheck spent on a plane ticket on some random friday morning could be such a good decision? once again, thank you for reaffirming what chicago put in my silly little head: i am woman and hear me roar and beyonce and independent woman and all that cool stuff. and the fact that i got to experience “mit henge” was also a plus. and found myself in the basement of an mit frat party, but that’s another story for another day.

- was cast in a musical (‘aphra’ in children of eden) and a play (an insane inmate of an asylum. i got to twitch and everything. creative freedom for the win.) ! AND I EVEN HAD NAMES IN BOTH! and in the latter, a nun actually came to all of the shows and told me that she loved my portrayal of a twitching schizo. and a man told me he watched me the entire show and tried to see if i broke character and he said i didn’t once! and i even learned how to do scabby, bruised make-up on myself, which i’m sure is bound to come in handy one day.

i know, i know. i wrote this all down in my diary, where i write all of my “cool story, bro” entries.

- went to THE QUIDDITCH WORLD CUP! once again, best random train ticket to nyc purchase ever. never have i been surrounded by so much lovely nerdiness.

-other honorable mentions include : went to MoMA. got my first tattoo. was serenaded by drag queens after late night performances on more than one occasion. got to take improv classes at second city chicago. ate dinner at the top of the prudential building in boston. went to the top of the sears tower in chicago. went to central park. took african-contemporary dance classes. stopped getting crushes on mean boys. crafted and crafted and crafted some more. ran 13.1 miles in one go, without training. got accidental backstage passes to a vampire weekend concert. and partied with my high school valedictorian at an mit frat party.

it’s eery to think that this time last year i had absolutely no expectations, no real plans set in stone. i was just rolling with the punches with a lot of hope but a very downcast girl who had no big girl pants on. i was in the middle of a friendship that was deteriorating, a school i lost hope in, and a plan for a life that was not anywhere near what my eight year old self would have hoped for.

and i can say without a doubt that i am there. i have the big girl pants, and they don’t feel too snug! i am not at that school anymore. and gosh darnit, i’m actually traveling! by myself! to places i’ve never been before! and i’m in theatre and making music and doing things that just make me want to do happy dances on end. and it’s all because i knew i could. and that’s a really powerful thing.

and it’s making me all giddy-pants mcgee to think of what 2011 might have in store for this little lady over here.

san francisco? france? prague? produce some music? take more african dance classes? woo myself a gentleman caller? be on a shining little stage a lot more often?

who really knows? that’s the beauty of it.

i hope 2011 brings you what your eight year old self would have wanted for you. ’cause it sure has for me.

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she wants to be everything;

Posted on December 16, 2010 by Mackenzie

                                                                                  -via

 

" When they asked me what I wanted to be I said I didn’t know.
"Oh, sure you know," the photographer said.
"She wants," said Jay Cee wittily, "to be everything."

 

                                                                                 -sylvia plath, ‘the bell jar’

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