Tag Archives: feed the mackenzies

{feed the mackenzies} doctor who blue velvet tardis cake;

IMG_4526last month was a pretty nutty one in boston. pressure cooker bombs? lockdown? manhunt? city is shut down?
it all sounds straight out of a sci-fi movie. orson scott card called, and he wants his plot back.

in a way, it was terrifying and stressful. in other ways, completely fascinating to reload reddit until 5am watching all of the updates and marveling at all the lovely people across the country who were up for 27 hours, listening to a fuzzy police scanner to give us news.

as we all know now, a lot of that craziness has blown over. but that lockdown day was a day homegirl over here needed to de-stress.

enter….blue velvet tardis cake. a birthday cake for the whovian manfriend.

because….birthdays are cool. 

exits are on the right if this is too much for you. this is almost as bad as the “meiosis + mitosis” cookies i made in high school for my bio teacher, using sprinkles as chromosomes.

once again, you may ‘X’ out of this post now. it doesn’t get any less disgusting from here.

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if you’re not familiar with good ‘ol doctor who, its a british series that has been on for the last fifty years.  it chronicles the doctor traveling through space and time with a companion {rose is my obvious favorite so far}  in a magical space ship called the tardis. simply put, it’s aliens and cheekiness and all kinds of feels.

okay, i just now spent 35 minutes looking through rose tyler .gifs and now i am headed on a one-way train to sob city, so we will continue. just…watch it, guys.

let us proceed.
this is the kind of cake that is excellent if you:
1. have ocd
2. are currently experiencing an all-day lockdown
3. you like making stencils.

blue velvet cake:
i used this recipe. follow it exactly.
don’t use food coloring like i did, unless you want a pond-scum colored cake {seen above}. use the gel. seriously, just do it; you won’t have to go through various stages of grief and sprinkles and instagram filters if you just use the gel.

icing:
manfriend’s favorite icing is this one i used before in a guinness chocolate cake for him.
tears will be shed, it is that absurd.

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once i baked the cake, i made a handy stencil using an x-acto knife.
you can also print one out and cut it out, but it was 8pm and we still hadn’t heard any updates about the manhunt, so the x-acto knife was quite helpful in stress-relief.

9pm? still no updates. so putting individual sprinkles on the cake one-by-one. it happens. i regret nothing.

10 pm? manhunt is over, ya’ll. the result?

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but a certain someone  was not amused by the end of the manhunt/lockdown . can you guess who?

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{feed the mackenzies} speculoos mini donuts;

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guys, i am a lady of many dreams. most people chuckle at my many varied aspirations. “firewoman?! and you want a great pyrenees dog rescue? and a vermont cabin?! and learn how to sail? and you want to write books?! and learn german? …but wait, firewoman?!”

many people think you can have only one dream in your brain, can only hold one close enough in your heart. and i just think that’s a load of baloney. for as long as i can remember one of those dreams was to have a bakery. it’s gotten more elaborate over the years. it now has a name (“eclair de lune”, and if you steal it  i will fight you, and i am pretty scrappy.)

i also have a growing desktop note on my laptop labeled “kenzie dream bakery” where i have all of the lard-filled creations i plan to fatten up cops and schoolchildren with. i would be known city-wide for my baklava and deep attachment to my crisco container, and my tendency to speak to said crisco container. my dream is not of a bakery with cutesy aprons and banners and polka dots and other things i pin mindlessly on pinterest. i wanna be the old lady who you can’t tell her grays from the flour smattered in her hair.

one of the desserts i dreamt up for my “kenzie dream bakery”, during a super boring 2 hour class on the history of paper, (no joke, this is where all of the donut-flavor combos are born for me),were these little bad boys.

speculoos donuts.

yes, speculoos donuts. yes, that means ground up cookies and butter….inside more sugary flour and more butter. i believe this is what drake has been talking about all along when he first uttered “yolo”. that’s just my bet.

these little guys are pretty simple.{i tend to have whole wheat flour on hand at all times, so like these are basically a superfood. or something.}

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donuts:
1 3/4 c. flour
2/3 c. sugar {seems like on the low side, but the cookie butter really sweetens them a ton.}
1/2-3/4c. speculoos {dutch cookie butter. sold at trader joe’s, dangerously enough} i did this to taste, which is to say i smothered myself in it.
1 tsp. salt
1 tsp. baking soda
1 tsp. baking powder
1/4 tsp. ground cinnamon
2 large eggs
3/4- 1 cups milk, use more if the cookie butter dries the batter out.
1 tsp. vanilla
2 tsp. white vinegar
1/2 cup butter, melted and cooled.

glaze:
1 1/4 c. powdered sugar
remaining giblets of your cookie butter jar {if there’s any left} ~1/4 cup
2-3 tbsp milk
1 tsp. vanilla

1. mix all ingredients together into a medium sized bowl {save milk for last, to see how the texture of batter develops. should be thick but you should be able to mix it without too much effort}
2. transfer batter into a ziplock bag to pipe into donut pan.
3. bake for roughly 12-14 minutes, depending on what size/ shape pan you use. less for minis, more for larger donuts obviously.
4. while donuts bake, mix glaze ingredients in separate bowl, set aside for dipping the little morsels into face down once they are properly cooled.

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….then, debate how you will slyly “motorboat” your face on to the glazed donuts incognito.
this will involve yelling that there is a mouse in the kitchen and your roommates should leave the apartment immediately because you, a baseball bat, and the mouse in question have some talking to do.

or simply put, bake things between 12- 2am, which i sometimes tend to do {re: the 3am guinness-chocolate valentine’s day cake of 2013}.

donuts motorboat’d. problem solved.

{feed the mackenzies} orange-glazed cinnamon rolls;

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one month into my gender studies class and i’ve realized the following: i sort of find the “women’s protein” powder i bought a few weeks ago hilariously sexist, and i’m an inherently domestic lady.

which probably stems from the fact that nothing excites me more than “NEW CANDLE FROM TJ MAXX DAY!”, one of my new favorite holidays that i’ve recently been celebrating. it almost rivals my love of my favorite month, february, which i’ve come to call “BAKE EVERYTHING IN A HEART-SHAPED PAN MONTH!” 

things baked in a heart-shaped pan thus far? cornbread x2 , guinness cake, two-layer carrot cake, and….these orange-glazed cinnamon rolls. or what i called them during the four hour baking process, “those bad boys”.

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i zested (and giggled).
i pretended this recipe was entirely my own. ahem. putting two recipes together counts as a new one, right?
i put dough on top of my radiator for it to rise for two hours because my apartment has the tendency to be a drafty siberian tundra.
i cursed the rising dough for the two-hours of rising time. and put on my bear slippers to combat the tundra.
i giggled more when i made a ginger dough man. i think it helps the dough rise or something.

oh yeah, and maybe telling you the recipe would help:
{i adapted from this one for the dough and this one for the filling. i just added orange juice to the  first recipe’s glaze.}

1.mix the dough. let it rise, as you silently weep over how easy it was to use bakers yeast for the first time. around two hours, or so.
2. knead again. weep again. rise again.
3.after you’ve kneaded your ginger dough head and made it talk like sloth from the goonies for 15 minutes, and chased after  your roommates with it, it’s time to fill and bake those aforementioned bad boys.

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slove love chunk. mackenzie love orange-glazed cinnamon rolls. it’s a similar kind of love, hence the heart-shaped pan. 
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last step is obviously to insert your face into one of these bad boys. and bask in the glory under the glow of your newest tj-maxx candle.

and spend your sugar high imagining j-schwartz is praising your baking prowess.

and that totally original cinnamon roll recipe that you totally made up yourself. or something.

{feed the mackenzies} snickerdoodle ice cream sandwiches;

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snickerdoodles, i feel like you don’t get the air time you really deserve. sure, you bring to mind an era of 50′s aerosol hairsprays and garish floral couches covered in plastic protective coverings, but you really are an awesome anytime-of-the-year, any-decade-where-cookies-are-eaten (curse you, frantic fat-hating, 90′s)  kind of cookie.

 who cares if you’re not a chocolate chip cookie (truth be told, i always pick the chocolate chips out, i much prefer the brown sugar-laced cookie). and like, sure you’re not the best cookie variety i’ve ever had (that goes to the german chocolate cookie i got at whole foods over the summer. holla @ dat cookie).

  but besides all of that, you are a damn good-enough cookie. and you know what makes you even better? putting two of you silly little cookies around a loving dollop of ice cream. ghost of barry white, be praised, ’cause all i wanted to do after i made a couple of you guys today was say “awwwwww yeaaaaah.” 

ahem. right. so, let’s just get to the recipe, then. ahem.

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 recipe: 

 your favorite snickerdoodle recipe (i used this one from the ppk, but less chai, ‘cuz that shizz is nasty).

 + your favorite ice cream (even though i heartily enjoy eating dairy now, i unabashedly looooooove the coconut milk + soy milk ice creams from tj’s.)

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 1. congratulate yourself on this genius idea by taking webcam photo shoots with a half-eaten cookie.

 2. since no one is home, why don’t you put on liquid eye liner?

 3. and a green polka dotted bow?

4. and red lipstick?

 5. and you should put on the pretenders, right? right.

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5. spin around in your rolly desk chair at least six times. more web cam photos are recommended at this point.

 6. oh yeah, snickerdoodle ice cream sandwiches. that’s right.  damn it.

 7. yeah, so just sandwich two of those bad boys around a mound of your favorite ice cream. ugh, the happiest of sandwiches it will be. ugh, so happy. easily the happiest moment of your life, f’real.

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no need to thank me, guys. this one’s on the house.

{feed the mackenzies} tealuxe-y iced tea;



anyone who has ever visited me or asked me advice on what to do in this lovely city has most likely heard me speak volumes about my favorite tea shop, tealuxe. tealuxe is the one place in harvard square that arguably has the most of my money, and for good reason. the only way i can describe tealuxe to outsiders is that it is the ollivander’s wand shop of tea shops. i actually usually tell people,”the tea chooses the drinker…the wand chooses the wizard…” upon taking them there. yeah, i lose a lot of sleep over that one. i’m actually the worst.

aside from horrible jokes and references, tealuxe is one of the facilitating factors that lead me to call harvard square one of my favorite places in the whole wide world (cute academics + poetry bookshops + kind drivers and bike lanes only solidified it for me).

i’m a huge fan of their iced teas, to which they add milk. sound weird? nope, definitely not. it’s actually the dreamiest. seeing as this is my drink of choice when i’m studying, and i don’t exactly live down the street from tealuxe anymore, i found a way to make my favorite drink at home. i usually go for their creme de la earl grey iced tea + soy milk, but i used this vanilla rooibos tea instead.

essentially, boil water as you would for hot tea, brew around 6-7 bags of the tea of your liking (i’d go with english breakfast, earl grey, rooibos, or chai teas), and combine all in a pitcher until steeped, around 4-5 minutes. cool down the tea with iced cubes, as it will be pretty concentrated, and boom, it’s ready for consumption. a 1:1 ratio of (almond) milk to tea was a pretty happy combination for me.

mmmmmm. tastes like academia and cobblestones (not literally) and overachievement. yum.

{feed the mackenzies} earl grey cupcakes + lavender lemonade;



earl grey chocolate cupcakes with creamy vanilla frosting.

okay, wipe the drool off of your sundress. get yourself together, woman.

these cupcakes were both a literal and metaphorical mouthful when i told the guests at my 21st birthday that they would be the lucky recipients of these bad boys. plus lavender lemonade. plus this recipe of witches brew (yes, it’s sangria. and no, i will never stop calling it witches brew, ever).

yes, i am accepting offers to be on the guest list of my 22nd birthday. stand behind the velvet rope, please.

regardless, i dreamt about these cupcakes for months. i usually plan parties because i want to merit a new, crazy-seeming baking project + have twenty willing victims to taste-test it. ergo, earl grey chocolate cupcakes.

guys, i cried when i put one of these in my gullet. after i put the (shockingly bright green) frosting with purple zombie sprinkles on top of it, it was beautiful. it was like getting a back massage while watching “the princess diaries” and someone is feeding you a bowl of pasta, all at the same time. that kind of beauty.

but really, this recipe was deceptively simple. i dare you to mess this up. and then feed me the “mess ups”, because they will still be delicious.

1. take your favorite chocolate cake recipe (vegan or not, the one in this cookbook is my favorite. i also got my lavender lemonade recipe from here).

2. grind up six packets worth of earl grey tea in a coffee grinder until it’s a fine powder.

3. fold in to cake batter, bake according to directions. ice to your liking (i use the basic recipe from isa chandra, goddess of vegan baking). i think lavender icing would be BOMB on this kind of cake, but i was too lazy to make two lavender-y sweet treats. first world problems, much?

4. win the admiration and praise from all of your friends and immediate family members. bask, homegirl. bask in it.

and remember; pinkies up when eating these cupcakes, darling.

other feed the mackenzie posts:

versunkener apfelkuchen (german apple cake)
cinnamon apple crisp 
pumpkin cake with cranberry glaze
creamy vegan (spicy as shizz) tomato soup 

 

 

 

{feed the mackenzies} hotter-than-a-witch’s-teat tomato soup;

in a way, cooking makes me feel like a mad scientist.
or a witch. yeah, i like witch better.

you sit around your cauldron of deliciousness, stirring a bunch of random ingredients together in an attempt to make a potion to woo josh groban into your clutches* make some food so you won’t get scurvy from only eating pb & js.

thus, some magic happened in the kitchen the other night, guys. oh, did it.

so i give you a recipe i’m not sure what to call, but i have narrowed it down to the following:

“i would marry myself if i could” soup.

…and

“hotter-than-a-witch’s-teat” tomato soup

 ingredients:

3 whole tomatoes, chopped.
3 small onions, minced.
3 medium carrots, chopped.
3 boullion cubes, dissolved in 3 cups water (or 3 cups vegetable broth)
2 medium potatoes, or a handful of those cute baby potatoes, chopped. (that i buy purely because they make me feel like i am eating doll food.)
1 tbsp. dried thyme
1 tbsp. rosemary
1 tbsp. herbs de provence
salt, to taste.
1 tbsp. red chili flakes
1/4 cup nutritional yeast
1/4- 1/2 cup unsweetened plain soy/almond milk

1. for broth, combine broth, and all the herbs together and allow them to get all happy and tasty together.
2. in a fry pan, fry the minced onions in a good amount of canola/olive oil with a little salt on a low heat until they turn translucent.
3. as broth is getting happy and onions are doing their thang, add potatoes and carrots to the broth to soften them.
4.once onions are translucent, add the tomatoes until they cook down, approximately 5-8 minutes. add chili flakes once the tomatoes are cooked.
5. combine the onion/tomato mixture to the broth and allow everything to boil together for about 5-10 minutes. make sure the potatoes don’t overboil because they can get gummy when you put them in a blended later.
6. in increments, ladle the soup mixture into a blender with the nutritional yeast and soy milk, and puree until smooth. continue with another batch until everything has been pureed.
7. debate whether or not you want to marry yourself now, or after you eat all 5 servings of this deliciousness (3 servings if you are me).

now, if you will just excuse me, i have a pre-nup to sign….with myself.

* true story! josh groban/ j-grobz was totally spotted at my school’s cafe last week. my friend had to stop me from outing him, which i am glad she did because if anyone else noticed him besides us, at a school where 85% of the people are theatre nerds who make “west side story” references on the daily, there would have been a mob. or i would have gotten a restraining order or yelled “HAVE MY BABIES” at him. either of these possibilities would be bad, very bad.

{feed the mackenzies} vegan cinnamon apple crisp;

as we have already established, food is very important to me.

 i daydream about future parties i will plan and the menus that go along with it. (chocolate cherry cupcakes for valentine’s day. pumpkin chocolate chip cupcakes with maple frosting for thanksgiving)  i mean, they didn’t make me emerson’s quidditch world cup team mom for nothing? homegirl has some menu-planning skillz. and a significant lack of shame. but that’s another story.

in a way, this recipe is a tester for the feast that my lovely blog-friend maya and i will be feasting on just a few short weeks from now. in fact, we had a pretty intense g-chat about said feast.  here are some of the gems. enjoy:

Maya: I LOVE ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING CUSTARD RELATED

me: i just want to jump into a large vat of it

dude

Maya: RIGHT

I COULD SWIM IN CUSTARD

AND JUST BATHE IN IT

me: kjdghkjdhj yessss

put it in an iv pleaaase

me: if they made earl grey custard

i would no longer need men in my life

like

Maya: men are so finicky

custard is not

me: i would just order a huge life’s supply of it

and get myself to a nunnery

which then led to the “official thanksgiving menu of outstanding glory 2k11”:

Maya: 1) field roast

me: UM YES PLEASE

Maya: 2) roasted brussels

3) coconut milk sweet potatoes with peanut butter

4) cranberry sauce? homemade?

me: 3) orgasmic mashed potatoes

me: 5) pumpkin cake with raspberry glaze

Maya: YAYAYAYAYAY starches

me: 6) pumpkin cupcakes with chocolate chips and maple frosting

7) HOMEMADE CORNBREAD STUFFING

me: 8 ) MAJOR NAP

Maya: me: 9) FOOD COMA

me: 10) MORE STARCHES.

me: 11) CUSTARD I.V.

as you can tell, i am very much a carb sympathizer. they always look so lonely, not being eaten by people trying to watch their figure. i’m just trying to find them a home, in my belly. that’s all.

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that being said, i  found some good homes for this cinnamon apple crisp.
filling:
8 apples, sliced and cored
juice of half a lemon
1 tbsp. corn starch
2 tsp. cinnamon
1/8 tsp each: nutmeg, allspice
pinch of cloves
1/2 c. maple syrup (awwwww yeaaaaaaaaah)

topping:
1.5 c. rolled oats.
1/3 c. all purpose flour
1 tsp. cinnamon
1/8 tsp. salt
2 tbsp. canola oil
2 tbsp. maple syrup
1 tsp. vanilla

1. for filling, combine all ingredients in an oven safe baking dish. cover with tin foil and bake that sucker for 25 minutes at 350 degrees.
2. while filling is baking, combine all topping ingredients in a separate bowl and set aside until filling is done baking.
3. remove tin foil from baking dish and add topping to the filling and continue baking for another 30 minutes.
4. allow the scents of a pottery barn catalogue fill your kitchen as you sip tea and admire your own domesticity. think about how lucky your future gentleman callers will be.
5. take the apple cinnamon dish of heaven out from your oven. decide that a tasty molten bowl of apple goodness and soy ice cream is exactly what you need in your mouth. try to pass off your tears of pain as tears of intense delight to your roommates.

totally believable.

{feed the mackenzies} vegan pumpkin cake with cranberry glaze;

oh, do i have a recipe for you guys today.

i’ve tried to be humble about this one, but that quickly gave way to my gigantic baking ego. i wonder what freud would say about that?

whoever my future manfriend is will surely be one lucky dude, because i’m pretty sure this will bring tears of joy to his eyes.

because my friend sam and i basically cried tears of joy over our pieces of cake
(three in my case. woops.)

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and since i have a baking ego (and because i copied this recipe down by hand into my recipe journal and veganized the recipe) i am going to call it my own. also, because this recipe initially suggested a “chai cream” topping and to be honest, if i wanted to eat something that tasted like toothpaste, i would just eat toothpaste. cut out the chai-flavored middle man entirely.

yeah, freud. what says you to that?

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pumpkin cake with cranberry glaze, adapted and veganized by yours truly.

cake:

1.5 c. all purpose flour
1/2 c. granulated sugar
1/2 c. brown sugar
1/2 c. vegan margarine (i use earth balance and i think it is the god of “butters”, but feel free to use less immortal butters if you like)
1 can of unsweetened pumpkin
1/2 tsp. each of nutmeg, cloves, ginger (i almost never have ginger, so i just used more nutmeg and felt less fancy. deal.)
1 tsp. cinnamon
1/2 tsp. salt
2 tsp. baking powder
1 tsp. baking soda
2 tbsp. flax seeds (these are your “eggs”, they are used to bind everything together and help it rise.) + 4 tbsp. water
1 tsp. vanilla

topping/glaze:
1 bag of fresh cranberries (1.99 at trader joe’s! what what!)
1 c. of orange juice
2/3 c granulated sugar

broston 044edit  directions:
1. preheat oven to 350 degrees
2. mix together all the ingredients until well incorporated. some people like to add dry to wet mix ingredients, but i find that i usually never do that and always get good results. so shenanigans on that rule.
3. grease down a springform pan and mentally prepare yourself for the torrential rainstorm of deliciousness that you are about to devour.
5. pour cake batter into spring form and bake for 45-60 minutes, or until a knife/toothpick inserted into the middle comes out clean.
6. while cake is baking, prepare the ingredients for the cranberry topping.
5. place orange juice, sugar, and cranberries into a large sauce pan on high and cook until cranberries are all mushy and your whole apartment smells like what you think a pottery barn catalogue would smell like. put the cranberry sauce/glaze into a separate container and chill for 3-4 hours(chilling is optional, but i kind of fancied it).

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around 45 minutes later when the cake is done, your roommates will proclaim how glad they were that they found you on craigslist and your friends will realize that your harry-potter themed tattoo is redeemed because of your gigantic baking ego and skills.

broston 049edit oh, wait. is that just me? woops.

{feed the mackenzies} 1;

i love food. i’m usually thinking of my next meal with the last bite of the present one. i daydream about what desserts will go with a fancy entree for a dinner party i am planning a month ahead of time (it’s pumpkin chocolate cupcakes with maple frosting. for my halloween dinner party. invitation only, but you all are on the guest list.)

that being said, i sometimes find it hard to quell this magnificent hunger of mine. i’ve been known to say that i “have the appetite of a thirteen year old boy” (his name is oliver, by the way). i’ve also been known to not wear white shirts because i cannot be trusted around noodles covered in essentially any kind of sauce. and sriracha sauce. it basically looks like the splash zone at seaworld whenever i slurp noodles. i usually eat noodles in private due to my shame over this. in the dark.

i mean, what?

thus, my first in a series i’d like to call “feed the mackenzies”. this hunger of mine is almost as bad whales not being saved. but don’t fret, i won’t make sarah mclachlan sing sad songs to you on tv.  i will just give you yummy recipes. pinky promises.

this baking mission was a long time coming. i took four (+) years of german and used three, count ‘em, three textbooks that all referenced “apfelkuchen” (apple cake) heavily. my classmates were basically all of my best friends all these years of german and we spent way too much time making bad german puns (“wir machen es regeln!” = we make it rain!), and making fun of this weird sounding dessert. we always said we were finally going to bake this mysterious dessert at the end of each year but never got down to doing it. thus, i finally got closure yesterday, and what scrumptious closure it was. apfelkuchenblog 005edit

versunkener apfelkuchen , adapted from “the joy of vegan baking”.

cake:

1/2 c. of sugar

1/2 c. of vegan margarine (i use earth balance. mostly because i always have it/slather it on everything)

3 apples, peeled, cored, sliced thin

1.5 c. of all purpose flour

1/2 c. unsweetened apple sauce

2.5 teaspoons baking powder

2 tbsp. non-dairy milk (almond, soy, rice)

topping:

1/4 c. firmly packed brown sugar

1/2 tsp. of cinnamon

1/2 tsp. of ginger (secretly, i used nutmeg because i’m not fancy enough for ginger. tasted just as good!)

1. microwave apples in a small amount of water for 30-40 seconds, set aside.

2. cream together the sugar and non-dairy margarine with a spoon.

3. slowly mix in flour, baking powder, soy milk, and apple sauce.

4. place the mixture in to a spring form pan that is lightly greased/oiled.

5.  place apples in a pretty spiral on top of cake mixture.

6. mix together topping ingredients and sprinkle atop the cake/apple/magic.

7. bake in oven at 350 degrees for 30-40 minutes (40 minutes worked perfectly for me.)

8. let cool for 15 minutes before popping this bad boy out of the springform and prepare yourself for glory.

apfelkuchenblog 009edithannah, the happy victim of the baking experiment. 

 

needless to say, it makes it rain.