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excuse me, is this mic on;

Posted on May 27, 2012 by Mackenzie


{almost exactly a year ago.}

if you haven’t noticed it, my favorite tag for posts recently is “that’s why i’m single”.

it originated in my junior year of high school. it started as a game to (somehow?) get my bff over a really turdish ex-boyfriend of hers (who once yelled at me for offering him a homemade cookie, a real catch). whenever any of us did something horridly embarrassing or unattractive, we’d say in a sing-songy voice, “that’s why you’re siiiiingle!”.

the friend eventually got over the dude, we lost a lot of shame, and we still play the game to this day. it’s become harder and harder to top each other on being just completely undesirable (conventionally speaking, obviously. because come on, weirdness is the spice of the dating world)

but guys, i think i won.

i was reorganizing my new bookshelf (don’t say it, i already know) i found a random journal i wrote some notes down in last year. i found a gem to win all the games of “that’s why you’re single. i’d also like everyone to know that right above this gem is a post-it note that has “TRISH, THE CURSING CROSS-STITCHER” written on it in gel pen, which i assume was a character i was trying to develop. i rest my case.

so without further ado, a white girl rap (my favorite canon is it sad that this isn’t my first one?) from exactly 361 days ago. it doesn’t get any more (conventionally) undesirable than this:

white girl rap, take two. 
yo, yo check it. 
i got my vera bradley and my skinny jeans 
my skin ain’t white, it’s oxi-clean.
all these other bitches be tryna’ start a fight
but i ain’t got time, bachelorette’s on tonight.

these haters think they know me
think they know my life.
but do they really know about my white girl strife?

split ends, cracked iphones, liberal arts colleges,
daddy issues, veganism, boys that won’t acknowledge us!
now get this, being a white girl is hard
we have to update our blogs and try not to fart

pretend to be vegan and stop eating gluten
crushes on “bad boys” and have opinions on putin.
and now here’s my home girl, D(J.Crew), 
my brooks brother from another mother and her palomino, boo. 
 

goodness gracious.

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how to survive finals;

Posted on May 4, 2012 by Mackenzie

you start out innocently enough. you have your note cards. your study schedules. your multiple highlighters that mean different things when you underline things in your renaissance drama texts. you give yourself pep talks when you take a “study break” in the girl’s bathroom of the library. you consider going to the bathroom a “study break”.

you begin your slow descent into finals anxiety with each whispered “YOU GOT THIS HOMEGIRL! YOU RUN FINALS!” in stall number three.

and then you turn into something like this:
 {this was my second iced coffee of the day. this was also taken at approximately 8 in the morning. issues, i have them. }

and who really enjoys looking like a sad monk that has a bad habit of wearing sweatshirts from schools they’ve never been to? not me, no way.

ergo, my checklist on how to get yourself out of the finals exam season doldrums.

1. listen to josh ritter. in extreme amounts. imagine you are riding through the midwest atop a white horse and drinking whiskey, watching the sun go down. or you could just imagine josh ritter is your boyfriend. both are acceptable. make sure to yell “AND I LOVE THE WAY SHE LOOKS IN HER UNDERWEAAAAAR!” during really intense moments of studying.

2. realize the existence of bon iver erotica stories the day before finals end. be thankful you didn’t discover their hilarity any earlier. read a few and get yourself together.

3. plan a celebratory thai food date with a person you really like for immediately after finals. imagining the end of finals and a mountain of fried tofu cubes can get me out of any sad spell.

4. coffee. just do it.  all 24oz of it. forget that your left eye won’t stop twitching.

5. remember your favorite saying from your big brother. “grab a tissue, we all got issues.” get your big girl pants on.

6. realize that finals season means you don’t have to dress up at all. realize that most of your outfits consist of things you might have slept in the night before. start using your “sally jesse raphael glasses” out of desperation.

7. do jumping jacks when you reach a wall in reading the (actually fantastic) text entitled ’tis pity she’s a whore. i cannot tell you how many times i have forced friends to do jumping jacks with me in the library.

8. do hand-stretching exercises. reason? you will probably end up spending four hours writing if you’re an english/writing/publishing major like i am. two of those hours will be spent writing an in-class essay  on incest. nine pages by hand, guys. my poor right middle finger is still permanently scarred.

9. do another set of jumping jacks once finals is over! hug your mom! hug your professor! hug random dogs in boston common! hug the guard that yells at you to tap your id when you try to sneak into the library! you’re done with finals, homegirl!

result: this is my “OMG I AM LISTENING TO JOSH RITTER AND DRINKING HOT MANGO BLACK TEA IN MY FAVORITE COFFEE MUG!!!!!” face.

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that’s all, future manfriend;

Posted on January 4, 2012 by Mackenzie

Pinned Image

hey there, future manfriend.

i think it’s important to tell you now, that my life is absurd. before you buy into all of my nonsense like you are haphazardly ordering a hand-blender on amazon, thinking you will make blended soups alllllll the time (or something), i should let you know this.

i am a weirdness attractor. it just seeks me out. it finds me wherever i am.

when it’s at the bookstore: i always ask mindlessly wandering folks whether they need help finding things and it ends up with a crotchety grandpa talking about his dojo master who knows how to kill someone without even touching them. and he only drinks hot water with soy milk with honey, as per his dojo master’s recommendation. and going up in the elevator with a customer interaction commonly goes as follows:

lady: you know what i don’t like about this place?

me: oh, what is that?

lady: you can’t take books to the toilet. ugh, it’s so frustrating.

me: …..

i wear clifford heads. and “story time” is something i put on a to-do list at work. bear voices, giraffes that can’t dance, and snack time are common concerns of my day to day life.

whenever i pet a dog on the streets, their loyalty instantly switches to me (i’ve had multiple witnesses to this ridiculous phenomenon).

when it’s at school, it’s not unusual for me to be called “raggedy ann” by passersby. tourists at work assume i go to harvard and ask to take pictures with me (?!?!this has happened at least 3 times?!?!)

one time, i was trying to get a bike off of craigslist and went to meet up with the fellow who was selling it. we met up in a pretty public space, but knowing me i was fully ready to assume that this day might be the day that i get thrown into a sketchy, nondescript white van and taken off to become some drug lord’s wife (i’m a huge bushel of fun, aren’t i?) keeping this in mind, the guy (who was adorable and had a british accent and i secretly wanted him to ride tandem bikes with me into a sunset. i mean, huh?) tells me we have to go to his workplace, as that is where his bike is.

visions of being thrown into a potato sack and thrown into a van rushed through my head as i willingly followed him to my fate. he hands me an i.d. as we walk through the “peter pan: the musical” tents that were taking over downtown boston. i confusedly ask him what he does. “oh, i am john darling”, he says casually as i writhe and try not to foam at the mouth with overwhelming joy. just a normal morning for me, future man friend. almost buying a bike off of john darling is somehow my normal.

being hugged by homeless women as my date approached me one night (true story, he was parking his bike, and a homeless woman began hugging me out of the blue as he walked up to me. it was awesome) is commonplace.

like a moth to a light, the weirdness just launches itself on to me. and i’m not interested in shaking it off. and i hope you aren’t either. to me, weirdness is the cheese sauce of life. and i’m fully prepared (with lactaid pills) to enjoy it with you.

sincerely,

future ladyfriend.

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all i want;

Posted on December 8, 2011 by Mackenzie

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all i want…

a big mug of burdick’s hot chocolate.

a big bowl of popcorn.

a stack of twilight zone dvds.

a puppy to be miraculously placed in my lap.

time to explore my favorite parts of broston.

someone to make my lips red each morning.

more squirrel friends.

 

i think those are achievable goals, right?

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let’s get out of here, future manfriend;

Posted on November 30, 2011 by Mackenzie

dear future manfriend,

i think honesty is the best policy. i really, really do. i believe in a complete laying out of my quirks and idiosyncrasies like a traveling salesman spreading out all of his half-used, rickety products for sale.

keeping that in mind, every few months or so i get this tingling in my fingers, specifically my “travelocity.com URL typing” fingers.

i have an extremely hard time sitting still, you see. i spent two hours on amazon looking at luggage. the image of a packed suitcase is enough to get my heart pumping. once you get the sweet taste of airplane cabin air, your plane neighbor chuckling to himself over “happy feet” playing on the tvs, and notes on altitude flooding your brain it’s hard to shake off the magic spell of traveling.

it’s in my clothes, it’s in my hair, it’s in my skin. i can’t shake that magic out if i tried.
and now i find myself in this place that i love, but that i’d love to run away from for a little while. i’ve been out of practice, you see. i’ve sat in one place for the last six months that just sitting my whimsical self on a commuter rail train to the outskirts of boston is enough to get my gears going.
i’ve tried to describe to myself what not traveling makes me feel like. it makes me feel stagnant. i feel kind of stale at times. and like i just described to a friend in an ever-so-eloquent facebook chat, i feel like “the universe just took a dump on my soul”.

i sometimes worry this plane-ticket temptation of mine might cause you to flee. i sometimes worry sitting still is an art that i’ve never really ever considered mastering. i signed a year lease two months ago on my apartment and i’m still amazed with myself. “travelocity’" seems to be subconsciously typed on my computer every other day. i’m not sure at what point i will be okay with sitting still, but  when that day comes i will welcome it like an extended house guest in my apartment whose lease still shocks me.

so i offer you this quirk, if you will. i’m a little bit much to deal with. and just like a product pushed on your like a traveling salesman, you can feel foolish for buying into it whenever you look at it at a distance. but i hope my laundry list of quirks (singing while dishwashing, my foreign-children’s-book buying problem, drinking iced coffee in the winter, silly socks) will make you want to come along with me on these silly, little escapades with me. will make you humor my tendencies to flee.

or better yet, make me sit still for once.

your future nomad-lady friend,

me.

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take lazarus on an adventure!

Posted on March 21, 2011 by Mackenzie

sanfran 046edit

hello everyone,

this is mackenzie’s lovingly awkward-looking rabbit friend, winston-lazarus-geraldo-rivera.

you see, i’m getting cabin fever. there are only so many things you can do in orlando. all mackenzie does is eat hummus and watch “late night with jimmy fallon”, and i’m nowhere near being tall enough to go on roller coasters, which makes me one sad, creepy-looking, stuffed rabbit.

won’t you please take me on an adventure in your city? we can eat sugar plums! and make snowmen! and chop down a christmas tree! and maybe even snuggle!

sorry. i got a little excited there.

but seriously. i’m getting tired of hummus.

won’t you please take me on a trip around your city? you can take me to your favorite restaurant, bookstore, park. plus, you can look like a total weirdo for carrying around a stuffed animal rabbit around, which might tank your street-cred, but who gives! mackenzie will even pay for postage and feature your photos with pride.

help me.

love,

winston-lazarus-geraldo-rivera, esquire.

sanfranny 019 (2)edit

{no, but really! if you’d like to take lazarus on an adventure, please email me your address at mackenzie[dot]filson[at]gmail[dot]com. i will pay for postage (as i’m hoping he will be able to bop from city to city, so the postage will hopefully get him from you to the next lucky recipient). you are also welcome to decorate him, cover him with stickers, and/or give him a face lift. he has self esteem problems, so a little embellishment might do him some good}

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{happy-dance-and-jazz-hands list} 2;

Posted on March 10, 2011 by Mackenzie

183198_1639919673525_1102770234_31452200_1008999_n                           {my ladyfriends and i with mathieu, the bassist from ra ra riot}

 

1. the total and complete creepfactor of my friends and i.  the photos featured in here are characteristic of this quality. whenever we go to concerts we kind of have to take photo booth pictures with members of the band. or that one time that we ended up going to universal studios with a band. we are weird people that seem to get into even weirder situations. i nothing short of adore it.

2. sipping coffee out of my cat mug. when it’s raining outside. and i’m all snuggly under my duvet. it’s criminal that i have to go to work after these things.

3. this song and this song. for fueling my early morning dance parties (my only forms of exercise as of late.)

4. end of march apartment and job searching in boston is coming up. the big girl pants are feeling snug as of late, but i’m excited beyond belief to utilize those bad boys. i will wear those big girl pants with pride, you best believe it.

5. birthday festivities and basking in the glory of them; swing dancing with ladyfriends  from 1 til 5 am. fake vegan philly cheesesteaks.  four bars of this chocolate (i am an addict). the social network on dvd. and crossing over to the darkside, what with my kindle coming (i know, i will miss book smell. but now people won’t know if i’m reading “lucky” magazine or tolstoy’s short stories?! i kid.)

6. avocadoes, and strawberries being in season, and powerful fans at work used mostly to blow annoying lovebugs away (university of florida, why did you create such a thing so terrible as a lovebug?!) this is spring in florida. and i’m actually excited about it.

7. the book of rumi’s love poems that lives on my window nook that helps me have the greatest dreams when i go to sleep. le sigh and a half.

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                                    {lady friends and i with the 1/2 of the postelles}

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sometimes i think;

Posted on February 4, 2011 by Mackenzie

 

                        -via

sometimes i think…

 

…how did pam earn a guy like jim? sometimes i feel like she doesn’t deserve jim. is that mean? or does that mean i’m jealous? or that i watch the office too much (is there such a thing as too much office?!)?

…that new bands that do 80’s style, cringe-worthy-but-still-awesome, hall-and-oates style jams are totally awesome. exhibit a: chromeo’s “i could be wrong featuring ezra koenig”. does it not make you want to tease your hair and go see the newest john hughes movie?

…that i like linguistics too much. i found a harvard lecture on tolkien linguistics  last night and i might have needed to breathe into a paper bag to calm myself down.

…that jesse eisenberg is totally going to see me in a crowd. fall in nerd love with me. and then we will live in some cute boston suburb with two great pyrenees puppies and watch netflix movies in our victorian house all day.  and play chess on saturday nights. or perhaps these are the daydreams i have to get me through my workday?

…yes, most likely so.

…that the power of indian food, dog kisses, and watching “the social network” underneath a snuggie all at the same time= one of the greatest feelings in the world.

…that you readers are fabulous. and constantly make my day with your sweetness. no wait, i think that all of the time, not just sometimes.

 

 

love love love :)

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{if-i-had-a-sugar-daddy} valentine’s day;

Posted on January 23, 2011 by Mackenzie

(the most adorable print ever via)

ah, valentines. the day wherein all the sugar daddies of the world come out to shower their loves with gifts, neatly wrapped in turquoise boxes, in heart shaped containers hiding chocolate-y surprises (i’ll take all of the coconut ones, please), and just be downright sugar daddies.

only kidding. valentines day isn’t about sugar daddies. not in the slightest.it’s about showing the people you love the most that you simply love them. whether it be your great aunt mildred. your 100lb german shepherd, or perhaps that boyfriend of yours. that is, if he’s not too busy playing  ”call of duty: black ops” to remember it’s valentine’s day:

*on my ideal valentine’s day i would conveniently sing a few notes out of my window and miraculously, a group of woodland creatures would come swooping in with this outfit to dress me and do my hair:

1. cocktail dress etsy 2. tights modcloth 3. shoes modcloth

*and then we’d go see the movie i’ve been waiting to see for nearly two years. yes, that movie. “gnomeo and juliet”. don’t lie and say you haven’t been at the edge of your seat waiting for this movie! and my gentleman caller wouldn’t make fun of this fact:

*after our, what i believe will be mind-altering, movie experience, we’d then go eat some dinner at a place i’ve been wanting to go to in years (and can’t wait for in san francisco!):

cafe gratitude. oh hells to the yes. we’d order a vegan feast (if you want to go to taco bell instead, that’s fine. i’ll eat your vegan loaf for you. it’s all good.) and my date would then order us the coconut cream pie and pretend i didn’t eat the whole thing by myself.

and that’s all i need to be a happy camper. hippie food, a love story about gnomes, and for woodland creatures to dress me cutely in etsy and modcloth clothing.

in reality, i will be in san francisco on valentine’s day. most likely eating a large amount of indian take-out, in a fancy dress, whilst watching and mouthing the english subtitles to the movie “amelie” in my hostel. and to be honest, that is completely perfect in my eyes.


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just because it’s christmas, future gentleman caller;

Posted on December 24, 2010 by Mackenzie

blueridge                                                       blue ridge mountains circa summer 2009

*this post was brought to you by the fact that i listened to too much mumford and sons this morning and thus got extremely sentimental.

dear future gentleman caller,

i know you’re out there. i know you’re not just a kennel full of cats, like some of my friends joke about. i know it i know it i know it.

i know you’re out there, celebrating christmas with your family. giving noogies to your younger brother and last minute christmas shopping. sloppily gift-wrapping, and slapping on a shiny bow just  for good measure.

not to insult you, but despite all of this knowledge of mine, i’m not looking for you. i don’t search for your face in crowds, in facebook pictures of my friends.

really and truly. because i know you’re there, and each day the universe and the cosmos and that big man upstairs brings us at least a few inches closer. or possibly you’re right under my nose and i’ve just not noticed it yet (in which case touche, god).

and that’s enough for me. the knowledge that you are out there is enough to make my eager eyes simmer down a bit. that and the daydreams of things and events i cannot wait to experience. hopefully this doesn’t creep you out. but then again, if you find me endearing in any shape or form, you will have had to have found my awkward creepiness endearingly precious….hopefully:

i can’t wait to be your biggest fan. cheering you on at church softball games, when you slide into first base like the meek, oh-so humble show-off i expect you to be at times (or endearingly douche-baggy) . and the same from you. as i stand on any stage, whatever performance art i choose to pursue (or all of them, i do have that goal of being a ‘jill-of-all-trades’ after all). and if i do choose all of them, i do solemnly apologize for the lack of space in your schedule, and the loss of your voice from cheering me on.

i can’t wait for you to be interrogated by my brother. i’m sorry. this is just the secret sadist in me. and i just know this will be an incredible sight to behold. and i’m not going to lie, he might corner you in a dark room, with only a flashlight in his had and ask you what your whereabouts were on november 24th, 2007 at 8 pm.

i can’t wait for us to go to the mountains, the blue ridge mountains preferably. throwing snow in your face and running away coyly. but then waking up the next morning for snow in my boots. thanks a lot, douchebag.

oh man, and france. and montreal. and san francisco. remind me that we need to go to normandy and see mont st. michel. this is very important to the future of our relationship, i can assure you.

and though it sucks to be single during the holiday seasons for most people, i find it freeing. because i’m not with someone for the sake of having someone to drink silk soy milk  nog with. or shop for presents with. or have someone to sit with me at christmas eve mass at midnight. all of those things would be nice, but not important.

and besides, you’re too busy giving noogies to your younger siblings. and i’m too busy watching “bedknobs and broomsticks” with my mother on christmas night under my hot pink snuggie blanket with sleeves.

and i know that on that christmas, we will have a fight about what is the best christmas song ever made (it’s ‘hard candy christmas’ by dolly parton, by the way. ‘last christmas’ by wham is a close second, but nothing comes close to d-parts). and when we do have that christmas in the mountains, please don’t put too much snow in my boots.

because i will, i repeat, I WILL, make sure an epic snowball will find its way square between your eyes. point blank. i take no prisoners, buddy-boy.

and that’s my way of saying merry christmas to you. enjoy your day, boy. and i will mine. as i know that it has me inching my way closer to your noogie-giving self.

and that’s enough for me.

 

sincerely,

me.

currently listening to ‘the cave’// mumford and sons

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