1. why we broke up by daniel handler (lemony snicket!) + maira kalman.
“I waved but couldn’t answer, because I was finally letting myself grin as wide as I’d wanted all afternoon, all evening, every sec of every minute with you, Ed. Shit, I guess I already loved you then. Doomed like a wineglass knowing it’ll get dropped someday, shoes that’ll be scuffed in no time, the new shirt you’ll soon enough muck up filthy.”
girl meets boy and boy breaks her heart eventually, so girl writes boy a (novel-length?) letter from the passenger seat of her friend’s pick-up truck, mulling over the items she kept of his in a shoebox.
2. i was told there’d be cake by sloane crosley.
“I’m not sure how the ponies happened, though I have an inkling: ‘Can I get you anything?’I’ll say, getting up from a dinner table, ‘Coffee, tea, a pony?’ People rarely laugh at this, especially if they’ve heard it before. ‘This party’s ‘sposed to be fun,’ a friend will say. ‘Really? Will there be pony rides?’ It’s a nervous tic and a cheap joke, cheapened further by the frequency with which I use it. For that same reason, it’s hard to weed it out of my speech – most of the time I don’t even realize I’m saying it. There are little elements in a person’s life, minor fibers that become unintentionally tangled with your personality. Sometimes it’s a patent phrase, sometimes it’s a perfume, sometimes it’s a wristwatch. For me, it is the constant referencing of ponies.”
sloane crosley is my platonic soul mate, plain and simple.
“I wish that b@$%$ would just piss off to a convent”- anne boleyn, speaking of catherine of aragon (seriously.)
modern retelling of courtship between henry the eighth and anne boleyn, cross dressing of a flamboyant king james included.
4. the future of us by jay asher and carolyn mackler
“What the hell happened to Pluto?!”
girl in 1997 with a new computer and an AOL cd (oh my god) can see her facebook profile fifteen years in the future and hilarity + drama ensues.
5. my boyfriend wrote book about me by hilary winston
(yes, i read this christmas night with a pineapple martini. it was beautiful.)
“WHAT IS WRONG WITHE ME:
1.Like to be alone too much.
2.Have two cats including one with diabetes and one who licks all the hair off her belly and genitals (recently the vet called, concerned, to ask me what was happening in the home environment…)
3.Don’t eat sushi or Asian food.
4.Dislike everyone who is better than me.
5.Think everyone is better than me.
6.Have toe nail fungus on more than one toe.
7.Get angry for no reason (but am really witty when angry).
8. Have bizarre sexual fantasy scenarios which involve witches, academia, and exotic travel….
…12. Don’t know how to cook (except Frito pie).
13.Let him break up with me.
14.Say I like to ski because it sounds cool, but then don’t like it that much when I’m doing it.
15. Am the type of person who makes a list of things that are wrong with someone. “
comedy writer’s (she writes for community!) non-fictional boyfriend writes a best-selling fictional book about her, becomes easily the best book i read all year.
what have you all read? i’m drunk off my post-finals high and i want to read everything in sight. i’m like a precocious five year old that obsessively reads billboards and inappropriate tabloid covers out loud.