a valentine’s day itinerary;

nom to your heart’s content on some maple-apple oatmeal and iced coffee. watch your favorite, most romantic, creepiest episodes of “twilight zone” under your electric blanket boyfriend. yell at your laptop screen, screeching “SANDRA, DON’T EFFING PUT YOURSELF INTO SUSPENDED ANIMATION!” until your heart breaks for commander douglas stanfield in “the long morrow”. feel the love from the lovely street art in your ‘hood. luv u 2, central square. luv u 2.

after bike riding from cambridge to boston in your happiest dress, getting called “best dressed biker” by a spandex-clad old man, and getting clay (?!?!?!don’t ask ??!?) out of the headphone jack from your iphone, make your film acting debut. make sure to take your direction to fall in the middle of boston common as seriously as possible. you are a method actor after all, and if comes down to covering yourself in mud, then mud it shall be. eat and bond with your valentine’s date of choice, a tofu burrito larger than most newborn babies. bike back to cambridge and daydream about making out with some cute, bespectacled nerd in your favorite, most romantic, creepy little alcove on harvard’s campus (do we see a theme here?).

enjoy your valentine’s dinner with your favorite smarty pants, jane, at dudley coop. think about how it reminds you of your hippie dippie year of vegan food and composting at new college of florida. admire their knick-knacks and stumble upon your favorite poem in their potty. watch as a pacifist knife-fight breaks out between courses. remember why valentine’s day is the best day ever.